When our sons were young (age 4), they memorized a very simple, two-part definition of self-awareness. Here is it:

1. Always know what’s going on around you.

and…

2. Always know how my choices affect other people.

The idea was that they would hear my voice, their mother’s voice, or more importantly their own voice recite these words when faced with decisions without one of us present. These two little sentences cover just about any situation that might come up. I thought it might be fun to place “The Definition” (as we refer to it in our family) into a little parenting fairytale.

Once upon a time, in the faraway realm of Kindermusik, there lived a Brother and a Sister, two young singers of great renown. Now, this pair had loving parents that taught them some very important lessons. They knew the Golden Rule, and to not eat in bed because of the crumbs. But because their parents were sometimes gone running the business of the realm, the King and Queen also taught them The Definition of Self Awareness. These were magic words that helped the young singers learn to think before acting. Once, the Brother came upon a group of children throwing rocks over a wall. He thought, “Do I know what’s on the other side of that wall? What if there are animals or people over there!?”

While walking down the main village street, the sister saw a woman carrying food back from the market. She always made time to take in her surroundings. This time, she saw the woman trip and drop the basket of food. “I should help her,” the Sister thought. “I know the woman would be glad to have an extra set of hands.” And so it went. The Siblings did their best to know what was going on around them and to always think about how their choices would affect others.

And then…it happened. As often is the case with these stories, a Dragon appeared. But this wasn’t your ordinary, fire-breathing monster. No…this Dragon made all kinds of bad choices that wreaked havoc on the realm. He’d knock over barrels of rainwater and play in the mud. He’d let the sheep out of their pasture and chase them into the woods. On a particularly bad day, the Dragon ate all of the village baker’s laundry, including his best puffy white hat. He even left claw marks in the dough. Now, The Brother and Sister saw all this and once again remembered their parents’ words. The Sister said to the Brother, “I bet we could teach this Dragon some manners. Maybe sharing the Definition will help!”
And that’s just what they did. The Brother and Sister knew that with this type of Dragon – no fire and smoke to worry about, just some poor choices – they show him the way.

While the Dragon was busy using the candlestick maker’s curtains to blow his nose, the Brother walked up politely and sat on a tree stump.

“What do you want?” asked the Dragon, as he sneezed into the brand new curtains.

The Brother, knowing Dragons liked music, sang him a little song (that sounded strangely like Twinkle Twinkle).

Dragon with a stuffy snout
Those curtains need to be thrown out.
Use a tissue when you sneeze
Leave the curtains in the breeze.
Dragon, make a better choice
And your friends will all rejoice! As the Brother sang, the Dragon smiled and slowly put down the Candlestick Maker’s curtains (a bit worse for wear). “I never thought of it that way!” said the Dragon, as he absentmindedly almost sat on the Blacksmith’s roof.

“No! No!” shouted the Sister. The Dragon froze and the Sister began to sing to the Dragon (a tune that oddly resembled Pop Goes the Weasel).

Before you go to sit yourself down
Please check if it is clear, sir!
You may destroy a house or a shop
Think of your career, sir!

“Well, I’m in between jobs at the moment, but I get your point,” chuckled the Dragon – and he stood up just before crushing the Blacksmith’s roof.

“Where did you learn to think about others and make good choices?” asked the Dragon. He was amazed at the music and message of these two young siblings.

“Our parents!” they answered. “They taught us to always know what’s going on around us and to know how our choices might affect others.”

“Incredible!” said the Dragon. With that, the Brother, the Sister, and the Dragon, went out to the jousting field for a picnic, to sing songs, and use tissues whenever they sneezed.

And they all lived musically ever after! Our sons are now 9 and 13 and they still have “The Definition” memorized. I’d like to think it helps them make better choices during their day, and perhaps be a bit more compassionate toward others. And who knows…if they ever come across a poor decision-making dragon, maybe they can pass along some good advice.